“La capacità di immaginare cose al di là della realtà è una capacità meravigliosa. È ciò che ci distingue dalle bestie. Ci spinge a pensare, a interpretare, e a migliorare.
Compatisco chi mi dice “io non leggo fiction” o “io mi rifiuto di vedere film fantastici”: sta volontariamente rinunciando a uno degli aspetti migliori dell’essere un umano.”—sbin (via kon-igi)
90s Animal Planet:Animals are cool, kids! They can be your friends! But watch out, some are dangerous! Ooh, watch Jeff Corwin handle the most venomous snake in Africa! Aw, look at the tiger babies! Oh, let's learn about conserving the environment! Remember kids, we must respect this planet, because it's the animals' home as well!
2013 Animal Planet:ANIMALS WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. And guess what? PARASITES WILL TOO! Yes I know those aren't really animals, I guess. OH YEAH HERE'S SOME PSEUDO-SCIENCE ABOUT BIGFOOT. He's an animal too, right? WATCH THIS WOMAN GET EATEN BY HER PET CHIMPANZEE. ANIMALS ARE SCARY, KIDS. BE CAUTIOUS AROUND YOUR PET LIZARD OK. oh look kittens!
90s History Channel:Here kids, we're gonna talk about this society today. History from all time periods and all countries. Isn't this stuff fascinating? Watch us dig up a tomb!
Early 2000's History Channel:So there's this guy named Hitler. And he's pretty bad. Let us tell you how bad Hitler is. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. More Hiltler. Hey have you heard about this guy named Hitler?
2013 History Channel:Aliens moonshiners aliens rednecks aliens pawnshops aliens aliens aliens hey have we mentioned aliens because aliens
(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
Angry Customer:“Damn f**s.”
Gay Man:“Excuse me?”
Angry Customer:“You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
Gay Man:*quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
Angry Customer:“Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
Angry Customer:*to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
Owner:“I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
Wife:“Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
Owner:“Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
Fino a una ventina di ore fa avevo certe idee sulle commemorazioni. Da un lato ero (e sono tuttora) convinto dell’opportunità di un evento formale in corrispondenza di una ricorrenza, di una presenza istituzionale e/o associazionistica, insomma una qualche bandierina…
A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach on holiday. While there, the biologist wades into the sea, starts examining interesting Marine flora and fauna, gets distracted and accidentally drowns. The physicist gets enchanted by the shape of the waves coming to shore, wades into the water and accidentally drowns. The chemist upon seeing these, whips out his notebook and writes, “biologists and physicists. Insoluble in water. “